Sitting on a couch for talk therapy just doesn’t work with all ADHD people. It’s difficult to pay attention when you have someone talking. Your mind probably wanders off based upon something the therapist said. Maybe you can hear something outside and suddenly become more interested in that, as opposed to your therapist. It’s possible you have gone through entire sessions thinking you knew exactly what you and your therapist were talking about, only to leave without absorbing anything. Is this you?
You have nothing to be ashamed about. This is not something that is within your control. You can’t willpower yourself into absorbing education or exercises to practice. You certainly can’t hold yourself to the expectation of actually practicing thought replacement outside of the session if you can’t remember where you left your car keys. There are reasons why talk therapy doesn’t work with ADHD adults and children.
Talk Therapy is Not Experiential
One of the biggest reasons I find counseling does not work with ADHD people is that it is not engaging and experiential. Having a conversation needs to be both meaningful and interesting for an ADHD brain to stick around. This is why you enjoy talking about your passions so much, especially when someone shows interest in it. For a therapy to help, it needs to be engaging, interesting, and have a clear purpose. There are tons of different therapies that exist that allow for creativity and are experiential. My favorites are using journaling and artistic expression in session, and inward therapies like Internal Family Systems Theory, or IFS for short.
There are Too Many Environmental Distractions for ADHD People
Sensory input can be overwhelming for the ADHD person, and be another reason why talk therapy doesn’t work. Telemental health has been fantastic to reach new people and is very convenient for both clients and therapists. However, home is just a very distracting place. There are so many trinkets, uncompleted tasks calling for your attention, or people in the other room doing fun and interesting things. Finding a good pair of noise-canceling headphones, closing your door, and asking your family to keep the noise down can be helpful for all of this. Even if you are seeing a therapist in person, their office may have people coming in and out or have noisy conversations in the hallway. Other forms of therapy may keep the noise and distraction out, as they focus their energy on a different sense other than listening.
There Aren’t Enough Rewards in Talk Therapy
Since ADHD is very much a neurochemical issue, there needs to be a brain reaction for therapy to work. Rewards throughout as session usually come in the form of insights & enlightenment, cathartic conversations, and entertainment. If your therapy sessions are not holding any of these, this could be why you’re having trouble with your therapist. It may also explain why you are doodling and wanting to play with the therapist’s toys rather than talk.
You Haven’t Be Honest With Your Therapist
Talk therapy may not work with ADHD, but therapy can still work. If you are experiencing any of the above issues with your therapist and haven’t told them yet, this is your sign to do so. Therapy can be exciting and engaging and impactful, but only if you are a part of it. Here’s what I recommend you do to try and help the situation.
- Tell your therapist the truth. There’s not point in wasting any more time or money on a session that won’t be helpful. I promise you won’t hurt your therapist feelings by telling them that your having difficulty paying attention and staying focused during session. They are there to help and want to make sure you are getting the most out of each hour togehter. Most therapists are awesome and can adapt their style and type of intervention to what you need.
- Do some research. Find different therapies that may be of more interest to you. If you think there is a type of therapy that is more interesting, or you want to integrate creative activities into session, bring it up in your next session. Thereapist are the jack of all trades and should be able to seamlessly integrate some of this stuff into work. Talk therapy isn’t the only option.
- Consider a new therapist. Therapists are irreplacable and one of a kind. You may also be very attached to this particular provider for one reason or another. It is okay to see a specialized therapist, like an art or journal therapist, in addition to your regular therapy. It is very difficult to find a therapist sometimes, but not something that can’t be accomplished. Some therapist are really good at doing trauma work, but have no idea what to do with the art you created and thats okay. You need to find the healing at the end of the day, and so sometimes a change up in routine and intervention may be needed.